After all the news regarding front office changes earlier this week, and the impending decisions about coaching, drafting, and whether or not to trade any and everyone, I thought a light-hearted post seemed appropriate.  There’s a chance your favorite player will be on the business end of a superlative, but please remember this is all in jest. With that in mind, here are some superlatives for the 2013-14 Carolina Hurricanes.

Most likely to get carded for booze: Drayson Bowman

Sure he’s 25.

Most likely to be defended to the death for any perceived criticism of him or his game: Alex Semin

Most likely to change the pronunciation of his name: Andrej Sekera

Least likely to treat his coach to dinner: Cam Ward

Rarely seen image from Cam’s exit interview media scrum

Biggest supporter of Snapchat: Justin Faulk and Jiri Tlusty (tie)

Gotta keep it SFW

Most likely to assemble his own furniture: Elias Lindholm

Note: chair is not to scale

Least likely to ride this ride: Nathan Gerbe

Most likely to have trouble finding a properly sized fitted hat: Anton Khudobin

Least likely to hustle for a line change: Eric Staal

Most likely to borrow Joe Ovies’ glasses: Justin Peters

PeteJoe

Highest Mohs scale rating for hands: Patrick Dwyer

Least likely to beat anyone on NES World Class Track Meet: Mike Komisarek

If you beat him, you’re the best.

Most likely to rearrange letters under the guise of efficiency: Radek Dvorak

Worst Attendance: Joni Pitkanen

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